Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Life's little things.
Recently, God gave me the chance to experience some of life intricacies. God sent me on a trip to Chiangmai, Thailand, to help out the people there. It was a trip, that i almost could not go. I remember that i was on the verge of backing out when Ms Gan and the ex-MJCians persuaded me to stay. And God eventually, persuaded me to stay too. And i know, God always has great things prepared for us.

Met with many foreign Thai students from Satit High School, I felt weird. i wished that somehow, we could just do away with these Thai students. But time soon told us, these students were a blessing to us. They provided us with much joy and made our trips a whole new experience. For 5 days in the vilage, we lived with them; we dined with them, we did manual work together with them and we taught english to the Huay Tong school students with them. Looking back, i missed those days where we would toil together under the sun. Cracking jokes, hearing Li Wen's "zhao sia" singing. Lots of things, and then later just doing what most high school students would do, pairing people up. These Satit High students also taught me things about the Thai culture. Two years ago, the Thais were still very conservative. But now, the Thais in Chiangmai are starting to embrace the western culture: Roxy clothings, Trendy clothings that make a fashion statement and finally, moving away from over-length skirts to 3/4 pants and for the more daring ones, shorts that show the knees a little. But that's not the point, perhaps it was an underestimation, or an overestimation, the Thais have indeed shocked me with the way they handle their traditions. But perhaps it was this way, that i found it much easier to connect with them and talk to them.

I really want to write one whole chunk about what we did there, but i think that would be quite boring to read about. So i'll just write the things that matter to me.

Somehow this trip taught me about love. Some kind of feeling that God gives us, and it's also one that mankind can give us ( though, not as good as God can give, but nonetheless, still heartwarming). Ham, the Satit High girl that was assigned to our group ( along with Elizabeth ) was really one of a kind. I wasn't able to strike out well with her the first few days, perhaps still being haunt by the fact that i cannot really talk well with other people, but nonetheless, i dunnoe how, Ham still managed to get close to me. I think it was the fact that she appreciated little things. Silly things like suan-ing her and making stupid face actions. Thinks that somehow, Singaporeans ( not just girls, but guys too ) cannot appreciate. ( and even me at times,) But that's ust the way she appreciated things. And because of that,i slowly got to know her well.

But i really did not know when, she felt something special for me. i wasn't really aware of it. All the while, i just kept in mind that i as a leader had to take care of my group members. Especially the Thai friends. And i just went ahead with my duties. But somehow, she saw my concern in her. And i dunnoe how, but she just reciprocated in a rather appreciative manner. And i think, i developed some kind of feelings for her too. But it just crept in.. i din noe anything.

Until the day at airport, when we parted. I felt the intense emotional instability in me. I felt some kind of unwillingness. The unwillingness to part just fell in me. 2 years back, it wasn't anything like this. i just felt, oh, so we're going. But now, just the thought of going set in me and i cannot bear it but to break out in tears. In part, my tears was shed for leaving my Thai friends, and for leaving the place, but in a larger part, for Ham, and for the good times we had together.

yeap. that's how i learnt about love. That's how i learnt about how fragile love is in my life. That's how i learnt and that's how i feel, project h20, it really made a difference in my life. :)

Kevin Ang Qi Ye @ 4:41 AM
"Sorry also must exprain"
------------

BahChorMeeMan Says:
Move on?
Move on your si lang tau ah....

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